Whisper

Mar 31, 20212 min

No laughing matter!

Just when you think you know your humans they go and do something that makes you realise they need a lot more training to get them under control and for you to understand them.

Take my humans. They are a hard-working, middle-aged couple who provide me with a clean, comfortable home with regular meals, lots of walks and a cuddle on the sofa in the evenings. Their children have all left home and until this week I would have described them as a relaxed, calm and happy couple.

It started on Monday afternoon. My female human was reading a book in the garden with me lying across her feet dozing in the sunshine. Suddenly, she slammed the book down, leant back in her chair and started laughing. Not quiet, ladylike laughter but great guffaws. I put my paw on her knee and gazed into her face trying to work out what was happening. She rubbed my nose, still laughing, got up and went into the house so I decided to go for a walk. When I came back, I was relieved to see she was cooking in the kitchen and the book by a certain Mr Bill Bryson had gone. Thoughts that things were back to calm normality were misplaced.

That evening, my humans opened up the computer on the coffee table. That’s my cue for an invitation to join them on the sofa as they watch the pictures on the screen. I didn’t recognise the jaunty theme tune and it didn’t appear to be a nature programme as there was just a picture of a large white house, so I dozed off. Minutes later, I was aware the pair of them were chuckling. This quickly turned into loud laughter and then I watched in astonishment as my mistress slid to the floor, clutching her sides, shrieking! I jumped down in alarm and sniffed her hair – coconut shampoo – then nuzzled her neck – Imperial Leather soap. Eventually, she wiped her eyes, pulled me to her and said, “That was so funny, Whispy!”

I couldn’t agree. I was most put out and decided to show my displeasure at this unseemly and confusing behaviour by going to sit by myself on the other side of the room. And it was a good job I did because, minutes later, they were at it again - clutching each other in hysterical laughter! This went on for almost half an hour and then, to my horror, they switched the computer off and started repeating bits of what they’d just watched, falling about in a most undignified manner on the sofa.

I have no idea what’s got into them, but I shall be keeping a close eye on them from now on. And if anyone has a human behaviour therapist on speed dial, let me know!

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